Happy Endings

So just to put it out there, I'm suicidal.
I don't expect you to care, or understand, it is what it is.
I've been specialed when in hospital before [which means you have someone with you 24 hours a day, you cant even pee or shower or sleep on your own] because of a suicide risk.
But this is the first time it's ever felt real.
It's my time, it's as though i've finally clicked. Life isn't supposed to be this hard, your not supposed to have negative thoughts about yourself controlling you every second of every day.
Of having to face each day smiling, with the thought of you being the most hideous, undeserving ungrateful being in the world.
I can make it all stop.
I wrote a couple of letters, that's a lie there more like notes.
Just to my family and best friend reminding them I love them.

Well here I go
I'll see you in heaven

Mia

I had a surprisingly okay day today.
Had breakfast, went to the gym [overexercised it off]
Tidied my room and researched some new decorating I want to add to it.
Had work for 3 hours, had dinner and kept it down!
So far anyway, and it's been 2 hours.
I'm not sure why I didn't want to bring it back up, I think majorly is because it's ruining my teeth. I do clean them though, i'm no a feral! But the constant acid erodes my enamel and makes them really weak.
So I am feeling pretty disgusted at myself but a little accomplished at the same time which is weird =]
Let's pray it hasn't affected the scales!

Also, this blog site is pretty crap.
No-one seems to be on but admittedly I still don't know how to navigate through effectively.

Hope you have all had good days!
Mylie

HAH!

So tonight I was feeling pretty crap, and I stumbled across this;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFzMcqzDOgw
Honesly, give it a look, it made my day.

In other news, I think I have a stalker! About 2 weeks ago, a group of guys stole my mum's purse so I chased after them [haha]. One started hitting on me, but I was like dude you just stole my mum's money why would I talk to you?
Somehow he got my number, which I thought was pretty scary, but then he told me he was outside my house last night!
FUCK!
What do you think I should do?

Mylie

back baby

So I'm back in the world of blogging.
A few months ago in a rage wave i deleted my old account, slightly regret that now but it's old news.
A few basics and why I blog;
I vomit
I cut
I used to have a journal
but mum found it
I ended up being hospitalised [which actually is turning into a non event these days, i was admitted 13 times last year and i like to think that number's ironic]
so now my thoughts are safe in cyberspace
that's all for my first entry
hope you enjoy reading my thoughts

mylie